My Soulcare Retreat Cruise

Have you ever hit a point in your life where you literally felt like you were empty and had nothing left to give? I have, funny thing is I didn’t know I reached it until I found what I thought was my salvation. It’s just like when you drink water and all of a sudden you start guzzling it down and it’s not until you finish you realize how thirsty you were.

That is exactly what it was for me when I saw the advertisement for the Soul Care Retreat. Once I read those words I said to myself immediately- “I need that”. Never in my life had I heard of such a thing but it made complete sense the more I thought about it. My soul needed a break, rest, recharging, replenishing- simply put all the above. This would be more than a trip, this would be me getting back to me and discovering the new depths of myself and replacing whatever I had lost. It could not have come at a better time.

For as long as I can remember (prior to the soul care retreat) I have never truly been happy for long. It was literally a task to keep my “mood up”, like I was constantly trying to find ways to be happy but it wouldn’t last too long. The only thing I knew for sure as I got older was that it had to come from me (happiness- that is). So I’ve been on this quest for happiness or at least to solve the riddle of “What is wrong with me?”

Thank goodness I was in a position where I could book the trip- now whether I could afford it was a different story. I used a credit card, and I’m grateful that I had the credit. I had literally left my full time job working in the ED as a Physician Assistant a week before booking the trip so yea I am not sure if I thought about it longer that I would have made the same decision. I was smart enough not to use money from my savings. But like I said- I was thirsty! In retrospect it was worth every penny, as far as Im concerned it was the therapy session I prayed for as a child.

What was it about the trip that enticed me so much- well the purpose, which was an opportunity for a true reunion with the real me. And what better way to do that than to get on a boat and cruise to 5 different Caribbean islands (St. Kitts, Antigua, St. Maarten, St. Lucia, and Barbados)?! I was beyond excited and so I booked my trip. I needed desperately to do this “selfish” trip and just nourish my spirit back to health. I was also happy to know that everyone on the trip would have the same goal. People go on vacation for different reasons: relaxation, adventure, culture, etc but it was nice to know that everyone in attendance was working on themselves. We all took that trip to heal from whatever we had going on.

I truly believe the universe gave me exactly what I needed. That advertisement came when I was ready to take action and start my journey to healing.

Every island that we sailed to, I had a spiritual experience. I can not share everything partly because it is too much to share but mostly because certain things should not be shared.

What I can say is I received what I came for. I got my heart back, I mean I literally found a rock that was the shape of a heart on the very island that my ex boyfriend was attending medical school on. When I saw the rock I did not think anything of it, it was interesting to look at and something about it drew me to it so I picked it up and took it with me- I usually collect shells. Later on I noticed that it looked like a heart, and then the message hit me- its like a voice whispered to me you got your heart back. I had been hurt for so long after that break up but I did not have time to fully process my feelings because I was in PA school (stressed!), and then I had to study for my board exam, and then I had to start my new job in the ER, so my feelings were pushed way down and I just continued going/ living. But here on this island I had gotten my heart back, and it was solid, it was a rock, it was strong. It made me feel like I was supposed to be there.

The whole trip was like a revelation for me. For the first time I started understanding the power of manifestation, divine timing, the universe, and how powerful we really are. I also met one of my best friends there. She and I connected instantly from the moment we met, just something magical. I needed her without even knowing it and she needed me. It was great, especially because I have always found it difficult to make friends with women.

I received so many other messages, please understand now that I am writing it I feel like it would probably be better to make a video about my experience than to write about it. This trip awakened a part of me that was afraid to be seen. It was a part of me that felt ashamed and borderline crazy. I was able to embrace every aspect of S A G I N E. I no longer made apologies for myself and just tried to take things apart to understand them at their root. It is something I still do today. I had a sense of calmness, peace, and I was finally ABLE to control my emotions, that was powerful for me, especially as a water sign. It has made me unshakeable, unbreakable and unfuckwithable.

Thank you for reading!